So I check my email this morning and there’s an email there from Mike. Here it is:
Subject: Urgent pls respond
This might not be the right time for this but I’m out of the country in cyprus and need a loan of £1000. I ran into some problems which I really need to take care of now. I will explain and refund the money to you immediately I get back. Please email back as soon as you get this and please keep this between us.
Oh noes! Mike has got unstuck in some foreign country? What to do?! Well, the sensible thing is to post on twitter that Mike’s email account had been hacked. Donncha had beaten me to it so a retweet later we had confirmation from Mike that his account was now under the control of nefarious goons.
Well since that was cleared up it was time to take on the persona of someone of dubious character and find out what had happened to my pal “Mike”.
Holy shit dude, I knew you had some deal going on. You know you can count on me, I just got rid of a load of gear so just tell me how to get the cash to you. Is it only a grand you need?
And then wait and see if we get a tickle….
Hey david, Thanks for your response, I got robbed in cyprus i am in a lot of shit at the moment. I would be very happy if you can loan me the grand. My passport and banks cards have been stolen , i can only the receive the money via western union money transfer please send the money through there service.
name: michael Whittle
country: south cyprus
please send me the money transfer control number via email so i can get the money and sort this bills out.
Thanks a lot dude.
So it’s official. Now for those of you not wise of the ways of scams you can be 99.999999% sure that if you’re asked to transfer funds by Western Union Money Transfer in this way then it is not legit and you’ll never see your money again (I’m sure that Western Union do all they can to combat scams, but people who’ve grown up with no education manage to outsmart them time and time again…..).
Many of the Western Union transfer scams originated in Nigeria and are known generally as 913 Scams after the piece of legislation in Nigeria that is used to prosecute such crimes….
Western Union? Did they hit you over the head with a Nigerian or what?! I’ve put Ricky and Tony on aflig
….oops. Was writing that on my phone and accidentally sent it, but it’s okay because I think I covered my mistake pretty well with this:
Sorry mate, the dog was attacking that p*** of a neighbour again. Anyway, Ricky and Tony are on their way out to you with the cash and a couple of extras. Give me a description of the dead men that robbed you so I can give them a heads up.
So that was at 11am. No response….
Me says (four hours later):
Right, the boys have landed. Let me know where you are and they’ll get it sorted.
Still no reply. Oh well, one last email and we’ll call it.
I’m guessing you’ve found some lovely to hook up with since you’ve not been in touch. I’ve got the boys going around the Western Union offices looking for you. Best get in touch in the morning if they don’t catch up with you first otherwise they’ll be going back the WU and asking questions. And you know what happens when those two headers ask questions.
Joking aside, too many people STILL fall for these scams. I’ve been a fan of scamorama.com for many years and the japes they pull against Advance Fee Fraudsters so I’m hoping that I at least caused them a momentary distraction. I also hope that the people behind it get caught and imprisoned with a sexually deviant psychopath who has a penis the shape of a pineapple.
Other than that…
Peas and loaves.
Want to know how to comment on or subscribe to this blog? Click here.
Find me on PSN – evaDlivE