The Books Arrived, and Then They Went Again

I finally received my box of books.  I say “finally” but they actually arrived on time, I was just being impatient.  And then they were all sold out, although I kept one back as my own personal copy.  I didn’t expect the demand to be so high, especially from my work colleagues, so I’ve ordered another ten that are due on the 22nd.


It’s a tricky business, this business, because I’m trying to keep my outlay as small as possible because, frankly, I’m not rolling in it, and don’t want to end up with a load of books that will sit for months before a copy makes its way out of the door.  On the flipside, I don’t want people to be stuck waiting for a copy either.

I also had to rethink my idea of selling the signed copies via Amazon due to their charging structure.  If you’ve ever sold anything on ebay you’ll be familiar with the triple whammy (yes, triple, not double whammy) where you pay to list your item, then have a cut of the final price taken AND then another cut to receive your money via PayPal (which is owned by ebay).  It’s a similar situation with Amazon.

They don’t actually mention charges at all, and it’s difficult to find any information on them until you’re just about to confirm your listing.  There’s a little tick box that says “I agree to the listing charges” or something like that.  And when you click the link (now I may be wrong here because I backed out when I saw the charges), but they wanted to charge €39 per month, PLUS take 15% of the sale price.  Considering that Createspace are owned by Amazon, I’d be effectively paying them three times, and wiping out any profit from any sales, unless I suddenly become really popular and can shift hundreds of books per week (working on that one).

So, any signed copies will be going direct from, using good old PayPal (gaahhhh).

What’s that?  You want to know where you can buy my books?  Okay, just go here for a full list:

More Search Stat Fun (lag switch and crosshairz)

Since my visit to Ebay and subsequent post about some of the crap* you find on there, search engines are now sending people this way for information on said devices. Et voila:

I am an authority on all things douche

So, here’s the low down for all you peeps with inquiring minds.

How Stuff Werks!

Search query: how crosshairz work

Answer: they show you where the centre of your screen is. But in order to use them you first have to work out where the centre of your screen is. Once you know where the centre of your screen is you’ll find that your don’t need your crosshairz any more (or at all).

Pro tip: To find the centre of your screen first measure from top to bottom, half that figure to get halfway vertical. Measure from left to right, half that figure to get halfway horizontal. Where those two figures meet is the centre of your screen.

Incidental information: Sticking random sticky stuff to the centre of your screen to aid aiming has been around for as long as first person shooters. Back in the day (before Crosshairz) the method of choice was felt tip pen, some tape, or a bit of Blu-Tac. But in reality it is a pointless exercise as whatever you use ends up obscuring what you are supposed to be aiming at.

Search query: ebay switch lag game

Answer: A lag switch sits between your PC or games console and your router/internet connection. When you flick the switch it interrupts ALL communication between the devices. Does it work? If by ‘work’ you mean stops your connection, then yes it works. But without a controller to regulate the amount of lag you’ll encounter Host Migration (if you’re host) or the lobby screen if you’re not. Which is great as it self terminates cheats.

Pro Tip: If you’re going to search for an item on Ebay – try going to Ebay and using the Ebay search rather than a search engine….

Incidental information: If you’re willing to pay for a device to help you cheat on a game then you must be utterly pathetic at said game. Instead of wasting your cash in an attempt to become an uber-douche why not hop on the forums and ask for some tips, or have a look at gameplay videos on YouTube. If you have to cheat to win you’re only cheating yourself – no one likes a cheat, and you will get found out.

If either of these answers saved you the purchase cost of these items, then consider donating the money you saved to a charity of your choice instead.

This has been a public service announcement on behalf of the Half a Brain Society of Great Britain.

Peas and loaves.

Find me on PSN – evaDlivE

*Crap is a purely subjective term. My definition of crap may be incompatible with your view. Your mileage may vary. May contain nuts. Not machine washable.

Omnipotent FAL, Mario SwearKart, Ebay and Lamb-o-Rama

No ADHD OCD Magpie tonight, I actually had a couple of things all in my brain at the same time….

The Omnipotent FAL
Since Geoff’s videos on the FAL (here and here) it seems that everyone on YouTube seems to be using them in Modern Warfare 2. You’ve got Wings of Redemption (with his modded controller controversy for added zest), TheEnd004500, and there were at least two others in recent days all running around with FAL – maybe more (I really should pay attention). I don’t know if it is just coincidence or not, but it seems like the secret is out…..

And related to the FAL. Has anyone tried it with the Acog scope? I mentioned it in an earlier post, and I’ve stopped crying now. It could just be me being rubbish, but I was having real trouble getting any kills with the Acog. Either my aim was really off – which is a very real possibility – or the Acog does the opposite of the holographic sight……

Mario SwearKart Wii
Mario Kart Wii is supposed to be kids/family game. Not when I play it! Red shell, blue shell, red shell, red shell, sparkly shrinky star thing….LEAVE ME ALONE! The only thing more frustrating than leading for two and three quarter laps out of three only to get tactically nuked from orbit is Baby Mario. That little cheating git! I don’t get how when the computer runs him he’s the fastest toughest little mofo on the track, but if I run it then he’s the slowest weakest runt out there.

So far I’ve unlocked the other tracks and one extra car. I don’t know how a kid is supposed to be do it though. I’m on the brink of nervous breakdown playing it. Stupid Koopa!

So I was fifty squids away from the Hauppage target…I say was, could be still am. Bills before stuff and all that. But anyway, I put three games on Ebay to go towards the total. I’m not expecting them to sell for very much but if they do sell they should make up the better part of thirty quid. For information the titles are World at War, Race Driver Grid and Star Wars The Force Unleashed.

In the meantime, I’ll keep doing the lottery….

And when I win the lottery I’m going to open up a lamb burger joint. Yup, that’s fairly random. But I’ve been making these lamb burgers with a load of herbs and feta cheese. They’re awesome. So watch out for a Lamb-o-Rama opening near you 🙂

Peas and loaves.

Find me on PSN – evaDlivE

So I was on Ebay….

I was looking to see if it would be worth my while selling a couple of games on there as opposed to trading them in. They’re not brand new titles and realistically if I traded them in I’d get maybe a fiver each. A fiver is better than nothing, but it’s not better than more than a fiver…..

But I digress. I was looking through the PS3 games section and I found a couple of things that ranged from ludicrous to downright pathetic. The downright pathetic items should come with a free kick to the crotch.

I’m not posting the listing numbers as once they end they’ll probably be inaccessible, so I’ll post the pictures and a brief description for them. Here are the top 3:

In at number three is…….

The sticky crosshair for your TV –

Be the best gamer!

You're MLGpro now!

” Be the best gamer you can be with crosshairz screen targets.


These sights attach to your tv screen with no fuss, no glue, no mess
The pack of 3 sights come in 3 different designs
Its up to you which you use but
they all enhance your gaming as you can now fire from the hip
saving you from the split second fuss of aiming manually ”

Yup, because the funny crosshairs you get in game are so annoying and just get in the way….. What’s even more ludicrous is that the example is not even from a hardcore game (no crosshairs or HUD) – the proper in game crosshairs are there!

At number 2 we have –

Rapid Fire Kits –

Be just like your heroes








Now you can be just like Wings of Redemption for a fraction of the price!

And at number one with the douchiest no life loser listing is –

The Lag Switch –

Got Douche?

” This is a lag switch these worked best and give the most lag possible. i use the best quality cable to assure the best connection quality and lag.

I have tested all my lag switches unlike some people selling lag switches I actually play on my Xbox and Ps3 and know all of these work.

All you need to do is press the button when you want lag this way gives you maximum control of the lag. “

I don’t know what is worse – that people cheat, that someone would actually build a lag switch in order to cheat, that someone would build a lag switch to sell to someone for them to cheat, or that there are people out there who are so pathetic and inept that they have to buy this crap…..

A special mention goes to this listing:

Blue screws.... Do you know where yours are?

” Official PS3 Hard Drive Blue Screw

For Sale Official Sony Playstation 3 Hard Drive Blue Screw.
This screw secures your Hard Drive Caddy in Place.
Have you lost or damaged yours. “

Think carefully now…..have you lost or damaged yours? Are you sure?

Peas and loaves.

Find me on PSN – evaDlivE

YouTube CC, KEN, and Another Hauppage Update

YouTube CC

I love Google and what they do so don’t take this as Google/YouTube bashing, but their new innovation on YouTube is, as the cool kids say, FAIL. What is it if you haven’t seen it? Closed Captioning – or subtitles to us in the UK. They’re designed for people with hearing difficulties, by printing out the dialogue on screen. I use them, not because I’m hard of hearing, but when you have kids/babies in the house it’s the best way to watch the telly because the kids are asleep, or are awake and playing LET’S MAKE AS MUCH NOISE AS POSSIBLE EVERY TIME SOMEONE SPEAKS ON THE MAGIC BOX.

Anyone who regularly uses subtitles or close captioning will know a couple of things about them:
1 – On pre-recorded programmes and films they are great
2 – They’re not always word for word with what is being said
3 – They are typed by deaf illiterate chimps for live programmes like the news

So here’s the thing, YouTube/Google have implemented a beta Closed Captioning service on the videos, I tried it on mine……hilarity ensued. You’ve got to try it – choose any video at random. It’s like when the first speech recognition came out…..


In Ken Burton’s QA video he answered the question about what can actually be done about online douchery. Here is his answer:

Obviously it’s not a perfect solution, but this is not a perfect world, otherwise there wouldn’t be any douchebags to mute, thus rendering the KEN campaign moot. What the KEN tag really means is that the person wearing it is not going to indulge douchey bullshit. That’s it.

Hauppage Update

Okay, I know from experience that people who buy on ebay have a real problem with actually reading the title, description or even looking at the pictures, but there is only so much you can do to make it as clear as possible what you are selling. So when I put my surfboard on there I put in MASSIVE RED LETTERS collection only, the P&P section said collection only, so I was surprised when a guy from the other side of the country was the winning bidder and then emailed me to ask how much delivery would be…….yup.

Anyway, hopefully that’s sorted, and as long as he pays and doesn’t mess me about it means that I’m about two thirds of the way to the Hauppage which I will now be getting from I can get it for a couple of quid (literally) cheaper from some other supplier, but I’ve never heard of this other company and I have dealt with Play before.

In other news:

Gameplay tonight – Mercenary Team Death Match. Using mainly the blinged FAL with silencer and holographic sight, Spas with grip, claymore, stun grenades, Stopping Power Pro and Ninja Pro. Although on the last game on Underpass I had to change to my Anti-Air class as my team was totally outclassed and had to shoot down the enemy air support to stop it being a complete rout. I was also using my Cheap Freaks on sensitivity 7 and was playing fairly conservatively as I need to get used to this new set up.

Maps and outcome –
Underpass – Win – 6-2
Karachi – Win – 7-2
Estate – Lose – 6-6 (stupid sniper in the garage)
Underpass (again) – Lose – 6-3

Definitely not beast scores, but apart from Estate I think I upheld my Two Commandments fairly well.

Peas and loaves.

Find me on PSN – evaDlivE