Game Results 18-09-2010

Had an interesting night of BFBC2 last night. I initially went on on my own in to SDM where I joined three other silent randoms on Arica Harbour. Essentially I was just having a cock about as I’d been drinking some wine and just looking to shoot some people in the face but didn’t fancy going in to Rush on my own.

After a while a familiar name slotted me from one of the other squads – mj_whittle…. damn you! At the end of the round I created a squad and we decided to have a go at some rush, so I selected Arica Harbour but we were both surprised when it put is on Squad Rush on Laguna Presa. Okay, so maybe I’d had too much wine and selected the wrong game type, I could accept that as being possible, but not that I’d mess up on the map as well! I think it must have been a glitch as I wouldn’t screw it up as bad as that!

But we decided to stick with the Squad Rush anyway, at least for a couple of rounds. Wow, it was easy mode. We were joined by batmanjokergorden, suffywuffy, and then getcrackin to make up the rest of our squad at various times during the game. I think that many people who play Squad Rush are there to massage their stats, either that or they don’t know what the point of the game mode is.

We had one wookiee who kept on mortaring the MComs, even though that has no effect on it. And all but one squad we came up against didn’t give us any issues. The toughest round we had was defending on Atacama Desert as the MCom can be armed from below it. In the end we were just having a muck about since the opposing squad wasn’t really interested in attacking or defending the objective for the most part.

I even got a couple of C4 trap kills, the first being on Valparaiso. The other squad were flanking on the road side rather than the water side and kept appearing at the same corner. So I planted two sticks of C4 and waited. Eventually Mike had to go and lure the enemy up by hopping round the corner and then backing away. We knew there was at least one guy there as the rest of the squad had seen them go that way, so we weren’t disappointed. Suffywuffy spotted the guy who happened to be a wookiee and before he knew what had happened both Mike and I were teabagging his corpse. Yes, we are that classy.

There was another C4 kill on Laguna Alta when we were taking Bravo station.

After a while we decided to ditch Squad Rush as there wasn’t really much of a challenge so we went to Rush, properly this time. SuffyWuffy missed the squad invite and his place was taken by Sulley19. One thing we noticed was that the level of competition was not what it usually was, with less people seeming to be online too. I don’t know if they’d all gone to play Halo or what, but there was no C4ing of MComs (except for one idiot who managed to blow himself up but not damage the Mcom).

In between games getcracking disappeared…. and majorlynch took his slot. He then reappeared on another squad, and later…. on the other team. What happened there then? Or were you trying to give the other side a fighting chance?

We didn’t lose a single game on attack or defence, including Whitepass and Arica Harbour (no repeat of my rant video). The people on our side all seemed to be focused on the objective and that was awesome.

Peas and loaves.

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David Nicol is Articles Editor for, YouTube gaming commentator and blogger based in the UK.

Game Results 05-09-2010

I had originally arranged to play multiplayer GTA4 with Duck, but he was late so ended up playing Nazi Zombies with BigMooney instead. It didn’t quite go according to plan as neither of us had anyone online at that time who was up for some Zombies so we attempted to take out the endless horde of the undead by ourselves. But we were thwarted by the perennial beast: lag.

In theory Zombies should be the perfect game for me, except when we have a connection issue which meant that when Mooney was host, I got the single red bar, and when I hosted, he got it. Even when we tried to join a random lobby he STILL got host which meant that everyone had a bad connection.

In the end we decided to just pack it in and try some multiplayer TDM. We were joined by two people from his friends list and Donncha from mine. From my experience so far of World at War there are three types of player on there, The Silent, The Obnoxious, and, The Retarded. Last night we ran in to a number of people who fitted in to the two latter categories – some of them had a tick in both boxes.

What I’d like to know is this: do these people ONLY have World at War? Is it the only game they ever bought – or maybe it’s the only game the secure facility they inhabit will allow them to play.

Anyway – BigMooney’s connection problems continued and he called it a night. Donncha, Captain(something) and I continued through various levels of mic abuse for a couple more rounds. There were the “we’re going to own you all” squeakers who all had the same clan tag….. and weren’t that good. And also one guy who thought he was all that, but ran into my Bouncing Betties every round….. even though I placed them in the same spot. So much for popping “Eva’s” hole, buddy (yes, he really was that retarded).

Donncha tested his headset with Skype as a proof of concept for avoiding all the crap in lobby system so it looks like we’ll be using that in future. And off to BFBC2 we went.

We decided that the try hard pants were going on, they were being pulled up so high even Simon Cowell would wince at the thought and we would not be beat. They say that attitude is everything, and when you go with a high waist band attitude like that the opposition is going to have it tough…. and they did.

Donncha, Mike and I were joined by OggaB0gga, a new addition to my friend list and a beast of a player (but get a mic!). He was at the top of the score board for many a round until he had to leave. Because I have notifications off I missed his message until much later, but it was good having him on the team. His spot was filled by TyeWebb and so the Quadruplet of Pain was in da house!

I forget exactly what maps we played, but we won every round we played with Donncha on the squad, and when he called it a night, Sulley joined. The winning continued up until we hit Nelson Bay….. We were defending, but for some reasons the attackers pretty much all quit! So it turned in to a duck shoot with a player called Marcelloooo(?) being the only person left on the attackers. Kudos for not quitting, but not something that I’d recommend. In the end we quit out because some of our team decided to C4 our own MComs.

The final match of the night was Arica Harbour. We were on attack and the defenders almost stopped us at the first base. It was a really hard match as the defenders seemed to be more organised than the rest of our team. I took out Alpha with the tank (yup, cheap) and I think Bravo was finally destroyed with only a couple of tickets left through the use of a rocket (not by me). Bases 2 and 3 were relatively easy in comparison, Base 4 was a little troublesome but the final base…..

I don’t know how many times I have to say this but: the clue is in the name. The gametype is: RUSH! Not sit around with your thumb up your arse. I’m fairly sure that the only squad that actually armed ANY of the final MComs was our squad – I know Mike definitely got a number of arms on there, so did I, and Sulley and Tye provided support if they didn’t actually get to arm. One thing’s for sure though – we didn’t see any friendlies anywhere near the MComs which meant that we were toast. Should have run smoke in hindsight.

So, we lost that one – I may post that final base to show what happens when your team doesn’t go for the objective. Especially as the defenders were pushing really far in to our spawn.

Over all it was a very positive night of gaming and the best set of games I’ve had in quite a long time. So thanks everyone who made it that way (excepting the obnoxious retards in W@W).

I’ll hopefully have a highlight clip video up later today showing some of the more eventful incidents in the game.

Peace out, homies.

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David Nicol is Articles Editor at

Game Results (Lag and Trash Talk)

Over the weekend I had mostly been playing Blur because I want to get levelled up and BFBC2 has been full of little annoying problems that have been slowly pissing me off. So we’ll start with BFBC2…

Friday? Maybe. Can’t remember. Played some Rush as I joined Donncha and Mike, I was on a squad on my own and then they joined me on Port Valdez. The enemy team didn’t have much of a chance to be honest as there were about eight people on our team from my friends list. I know the people on my friends list are good communicators and team players which meant that unless we were up against at least two organised squads on the enemy team we were on to a winner…… and we were.

When we got on to Nelson Bay BigMooney was on our team which made it even worse for the opposite team, and was also a reminder that I needed to send him the friend request I said I would a couple of weeks ago. However, he switched sides part way through (Robert the Bruce isnae deid wi him aroon) to join what I assume was one of his friends as they were running the same clan tags.

They did a good job on the defense with BigMooney seeming to only have his sights on me as he killed me numerous times. I’m fairly sure that we won the attack and lost the defense, but I’m not 100% on that – and I think that when we were attacking someone was using C4…..

There was then White Pass….. it was the first time I’d played it on Rush and what a box of frogs that map is. I don’t know what DICE was thinking by making that map. I don’t see how anyone can successfully defend it – attackers essentially spawn at Base One and then the other bases are all in destructible buildings.

I got disconnected just as the last base was about to fall (thanks DICE) and when I got back in the game we were on defense. So I’d lost the points I’d earned in the game and the win. I told the squad I had no intention of trying to defend that map so we headed to SDM. I did send BSP a squad invite as we had a free slot, but when we spawned on Arica Harbour it was filled by a random who was dubbed Gentle Ben for his contribution to the squad.

By the time we were on Nelson Bay the precipitation of tiny irks cascaded as I got stuck on the terrain for the billionth time. Fair enough you can’t go up slopes and stuff without jumping, but when you’re running along a twig on the floor, or four inch step should not be enough to stop you in your tracks! And then there’s the lag……

I like obvious lag. I like it when you know that you’re being screwed by a load of ping, I like to rubber band – I know where I am with that. I know that when I’m being affected by lag I need to alter how I play. BFBC2 makes it so that the first you know about lag is banana bullets and point blank shotgun shots missing. I was running the 870 shotgun and magnum ammo (no slugs) – up close that’s a one hit kill. I had one guy climb up a ladder stand right in front of me – the aiming circle was filled by his body but I didn’t even get a hitmarker when I shot and while I was recycling the chamber he killed me with the Scar.

In FPS games I want to see my ping because there’s a certain value above which I’m not interested in playing, or rather, above a certain value it’s not worth playing.

So…. Blur

I’ve been concentrating on levelling up in Blur as the online game is dominated by people who are level 30+ who vote for the fastest most open tracks and then choose cars that lower ranks cannot compete with to get huge leads and massive winstreaks. It’s not just FPS that people put their tryhard pants on.

On the whole, the game is a lot of fun but is let down by the lack of people playing, the lack of dedicated servers and the iffy lobby system. There are also connection issues with people being randomly dropped from lobbies for no apparent reason – this is especially so when playing transatlantic games.

But on with the trash talking. Mostly the players of Blur don’t use Mics so it tends to be the four or five of us who normally play Battlefield chatting away in game. You can only mute people in the lobby though, and that can be a problem. For example, last night I joined Duck and TyeWebb. They were in the Learner Driver section that is for level 10 or below. I imagine TyeWebb was <10 and Duck joined him as he was level 21 or something and I was level 20 at the time.

It wasn't such a big deal, we were running the first cars available in the class and just having a bit of fun (unlike the "beginner" lobby I joined when I first started playing that was full of level 30+s all running Dodge Vipers and I had an Audi S3….). That was until Duck forgot to change his car and I was jokingly remonstrating him for being a tryhard. All of a sudden this person called "BigRon" started on the mic (complete with octave changer to alter the squeaker voice) trash talking us because we were level 20's and padding our stats, ruining it for everyone else….. despite us not actually winning much anyway. But the tipping point was when "BigRon" decided to use the C-Word. I said that bad attitudes and foul mouths are what ruined it for everyone and how we were running the exact same, if not worse kits than everyone else….. but my indignation fell on deaf ears as both Duck and "BigRon" both disconnected.

TyeWebb thought they must have gone for a 1v1 quickscope sniper lobby on Rust to settle their differences…… When we got back in game together we had a discussion about trash talking and how it all boils down to the "yeah, you may be right, but you're still a faggot" types of responses. It was almost a prediction of what was to come….

We joined a race and before we were even out of the first corners Doctor-Hands (a child/woman) was already calling one, or all of us "douchebags" for no apparent reason as far as I can recall. I think Duck may have mentioned that he thought there was a girl in the game but there was nothing "trash talky" up until that point (and we were just talking amongst ourselves anyway). Luckily for Doctor-Hands, Face414 was there to back him/her/it up with the tired old comments about British teeth (which I'd already mentioned in previous races – so no points for originality for him).

I'm not entirely sure what the issue was, but it was a mistake for ANYONE to think they could out yap Duck. If words per minute were pennies, he'd be a millionaire. After the first race I muted our insolent cousins as they really had nothing worthwhile (or original) to say, and it was great because while I was able to concentrate on the race, they were more interested in trash talking which allowed me to wreck Doctor-Hands on more than one occasion. The best thing I heard on the mic was from Sulley19 who joined in the middle of the abuse and said something like: "Sir….sir, do not attempt to get in to it with me as I will use words so complicated that you will not understand…” Brilliant.

Sooo…. trash talking aside, an evening of Blur was quite enjoyable. Although, from now on I’m going to be muting everyone who’s not on my friends list. I had hoped that it wouldn’t be necessary as I’m sure that there are a load of non-trashers out there, but as there is no in-race capability to mute I’m not going to risk having a whole race of mic abuse again.

And Duck….. shhhhhh – less is more.

Peas and loaves

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Game Results 6 – 8th August 2010

6th August

It was Blur Demo time with Taxi racing and Pink punishers everywhere. A lot of fun. Almost as much fun as Duck getting his first fanboy when we decided to have a go of the Demolition game mode. I was surprised the Duck didn’t accept any of the 83,000 friend requests that the guy sent him…..

The demolition game mode was fun, but got boring very quickly. There are two tracks, a figure of eight of doom and a bowl of doom. The bowl of doom was my preferred track as it seemed to be better suited to the concept of mashing the other players up unlike the figure of eight where you could be driving around and not actually find anyone for half the time. And unlike other titles like “Destruction Derby” there are no lap points so really you should park up by the “red shell” spawn and keep firing those.

I’m looking forward to getting the full game on Tuesday, especially as there are modes such as team racing available (Go Team Taxi!).

7th August

Because there is an issue with some players joining when I create a squad (maybe I should unblock them? ….. just kidding) Sulley19 created the squad which comprised of him, Duck, Mike and me. We played Rush, yes Rush on the understanding that if it turned in to a C4 turdfest then we’d drop out.

Although there was no real C4ing of the MComs (despite one guy trying to do it after I armed a crate on Atacama – GTFO!) the anticipation of it happening dulled my desire to get in to the game properly. I’m sorry to say, but I really wasn’t being much of a team player despite getting six MComs in the session and earning my 100 Mcom thingy badge in the stats. Normally I’d be throwing myself at the objectives, but when you’re waiting for the douchebags to get in the game and ruin it you just don’t have the same compulsions. On Arica I donned the Wookiee kit and provided mortar strikes, spotting and took out the filthy snipers on the other team who tried to sit in our base, but in general I just played safe.

Our team was joined by Ark, Eggroll and Cardman42, so all in all, the other side had a proper uphill battle on their hands.

I actually felt disappointed with myself as I’d been holding back instead of just enjoying the game.

8th August

T’was Conquest, t’was laggy. As laggy as lagtastic logger running across a field o’ molasses while tethered to a large tree by many rubber bands. When we finally got in to a game with no noticeable lag there was still something iffy going on with the servers. Hit registration was fairly non-existent against some players (and it wasn’t just me that was seeing this) and all in all it was crap.

I’m finding it very hard at the moment to be optimistic about Battlefield. I’m getting fed up with the same old maps (and additional game modes a map pack does not make), the same old exploits and now the “mlg pro” halo jump shotgun medics seem to be appearing. I was wondering how long it would be before encountering them.

Stroll on Tuesday.

Peas and loaves

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Game Results 05-08-2010 360 NO SCOPE NOOB TUBE

I wasn’t actually going online last night, but ended up playing the Blur demo for many hours last night with Donncha, Mike, TyeWebb and Duck. We had a couple of hiccups with the lobby system where we were in a party; when the race would start we would either be dumped back to the lobby, or, to be really odd, two of us would be in one race, and the other three were on a completely different track – only to be put back together at the end of the race….

In the end we essentially had a lobby to ourselves. This was a lot of fun and enabled Duck to get a fairly large win streak as FPS gamers do not necessarily make the best racers. I don’t know what happened with the match making system as apart from about two races at the beginning of the session no randoms joined us at all – not that I’m complaining, and I think anyone who joined may have been put off by our general mic abuse…. and the vast array of pink cars being used (real men drive pink punishers).

In retrospect I think that Duck was using a 360 no scope noob tube aimbot wallhack to get him in to first place so often. There were certainly lots of accusations of such underhand tactics, along with danger close, being used in the game….. but I’m sure Duck will say that it was all legitimate.

One good thing about being in a lobby on our own was that we could basically cock about as much as we liked, including racing “taxis” only on some maps. The taxi being the LRX Land Rover thing that looks like the seven seater taxis you get over here in the UK.

A lot of fun. Thanks guys.

Peas and loaves

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Game Results 30 & 31st July 2010


Conquest Conquest Conquest…. and some more Conquest. Joined Mike and Donncha on Laguna Alta and you know that really horrible thing that happens to a team when all the bases are captured? Well, it happened, over and over to the other team. After Donncha called it a night we were joined by Sulley19 and Drunkindunkin where the spawn violation continued.

At one point Mike voiced how badly he felt about it as we continued to sit in the enemy base on Port Valdez in tanks destroying anything that moved. I felt bad too, honestly. I felt bad that the other team had been so easy to get to that position. Port Valdez is usually a tooth and nail map! Totally ruined it for me…… nah, not really. And when it comes down to it, the other side would have had no qualms in doing it to us – and that is a reality, and a fact of Conquest.

There were two things that happened during the session, the first was being called a “camping bitch” by some guy – probably for being in the enemy spawn (top tip: never spawn in your base on Conquest as there is usually some arsehole from the other team waiting to kill you) and the second was a re-occurring bout of StealYourKillyitis. Mike was trying to go for knife kills, but just as he was reaching the enemy I’d get them first with the gun, not realising Mike was just about to get them (the best was the CarlG shot on Laguna Presa….).

Oh, and we had a WoR moment on Port Valdez. Red_Dragons revived me by Bravo, but didn’t make sure that everyone on the map was dead first which meant that we both got killed. So I travelled back in time to kill his grandfather to ensure it never happened again. But really, it’s no big deal. It’s just a bloody game, and I’d rather have people willing to run in and revive than medics sitting in bushes helping no-one but their own KD. Thanks RD – I appreciate the effort.


I got on pretty late. There were people on, but I know they’d be in Rush, and you all know how I feel about Rush…. So I played Conquest with randoms. I joined a squad with some German guy who was pretty good, until he switched sides halfway through (I thought that was an Italian trick….) unfortunately for him he switched to the losing side. It was okay, but I was bored of no communication. Having toyed with the idea of joining SDM for some camping C4 action I decided that I’d see what Cards was up to….

Ah, Rush. Or AAARRGGHHH RUSH! One or the other. But there didn’t appear to be much if any C4 abuse going on. Attacking on Arica Harbour there was the worst UAV pilot known to man. He tried to fly the UAV with ONE stick of C4 on it in to Alpha (the garage one) on the second base. I was already in there HAVING ARMED IT THE PROPER WAY and I look up and there’s this toy helicopter in my face! Well, he hovered about a bit not really being able to get it to the MCom until it blew up and then decided to drift on out like some pissed off bluebottle.

On these games I decided to take more of a support role rather than my usual gung-ho get to the MComs at all costs attitude as I’m no fan of Rush at the moment, so for the most part I was killing defenders. At the last base I was in the green demountables across from the construction area giving cover fire and mopping people up until the last MCom was armed and it was all hands to the pumps!

Defending on Port Valdez – some guy was on the heavy MG when we spawned but obviously hadn’t thought about its more esoteric uses. So I used the less armoured MG in the window of the house behind Alpha to do most of the deforestation until that got destroyed and boyo in construction got UAV’d. Eventually they couldn’t make it down the hill – easy win for us.

And then it all went pear shaped. We were attacking, and it was going brilliantly until my PS3 froze on Base 3. On reboot I found I was on the other team despite joining via squad invite….. Bah!

So my team won AND lost that one. I ended up in a squad with BSP and mussleking on Valparaiso, and I knew from the get go that we were unlikely to win against Cards and friends…. and I was right. I even turned to smoke to try and provide some cover but the rest of the team could barely make it past sniper’s ridge. And that was the night for me.

Thanks everyone, it was cool and the gang.

Peas and loaves

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Game Results 25-07-2010

It was late when I got on. I played Rush. Well, two rounds I think it was, I joined BSP and brought Duck with me but the C4 was brought out and so on to Conquest we went. I’m fairly sure that we won all the games we were in at that point, an interesting time being on Laguna Presa where one of the enemy insisted on climbing up the scaffolding at the back of the lower spawn. While the rest of the squad were securing flags I was basically sneaking around behind enemy lines tying people up and every couple of minutes over the mic I’d hear “Dave, he’s up the scaffolding again….” – it’s quite amazing how much damage the G3 does from a distance when you burst fire it correctly. And it was always the same guy. Nevermind, thanks for the free kills scaffold wookiee!

Mike popped up online and we sorted out a squad. We played a mix of Conquest and TDM when we started to get pounded by the other side for some reason (maybe too many KD whores and not enough people going for the objectives – I think it was Port Valdez that we pulled the plug on Conquest).

During one of the games one of the guys on the squad asked me if it was okay for them to use some weapon (a shotgun I think)….. I was a bit taken aback to be honest. Use what you like. I didn’t buy you the game so why should I dictate to you what you should use? Same case if you’re trying to get a certain achievement – just let us (everyone on the squad) know what you’re up to and we’ll either leave you to it (sniping achievements), or help you out (flag defenses/attacks). And if you want to use the AN-94/M60 with magnum ammo then go for your life, you certainly don’t need my permission.

I think it was Mike’s last night of “freedom” on the weekend and as I’d been MIA for a lot of the weekend it turned in to a late one. How late? It was 4am when we finished our last game ZZZZzzzzz

Peas and loaves

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Game Results (Yup – Rush is done)

By the time the Tiny Terror finally gave in and went to sleep it was quite late. I tried joining Cards, server full so I joined BSP’s game on Conquest. But no squad for me. No matter, I ran around as engineer with the M1 Garand and load of explosives to blow tanks up – and blow them up I did.

After a couple of games of being my own squad I got fed up. It’s really annoying when your squadmates don’t do anything you tell them don’t help out. I decided to try and join Cards again, this time I did get in to his squad. It was a case of DICE putting us in to matches that were so rubbish it was no wonder people were quitting. The last game went like this:

Arica Harbour – Attackers…. attacking? Seriously? Must be the last base… No! It’s the first base! ……oh, our team has two tickets left. YOUR TEAM LOST. Wow! Who’d a thunk it!?
Arica Harbour – Defenders. Engineer, Spas-12, mines, slugs, magnum ammo. Drop mines, killed by UAV. Respawn, shoot down UAV with Spas because I’m awesome. Bravo is planted, run to Bravo, Bravo destroyed with C4. Alpha destroyed by C4/2.0


I’m not playing Rush any more. I hate to act like a petulant child, but I play games to have fun and this bullshit is not fun for me.

Peas and loaves

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Game Results (Rush… you are dead to me!)

I’m done with Rush. Definitely at the weekends anyway. It seems that the weekend is when all the C4 scrubs come out of the woodwork and wind their scrubby ways to the MCom before laying their explosive turds all over it. The only way to stop this infestation is to destroy them at their nest, but it only takes one of those odious creatures to get through the defences and the MCom is gone. Until Rentokill is available in the servers I’m avoiding Rush – it’s just no fun anymore in the current Douchey atmosphere.

Initially I was joined by Red_Dragons and Ark and we were doing quite well. I personally wasn’t doing very well, but as a team we were fairly rocking. I missed out on a couple of invites from Cards again – stupid 4 slot squads! After successfully defending and then attacking on Arica Harbour we were defending on Port Valdez and the C4 scrubbery really took off. Alpha was destroyed very quickly but there was no confirmation as to what they had used, but Bravo was seen to have been C4’d – that was it for me. Screw the lot of them. I told the guys I was hopping on to either SDM or Conquest.

Ark joined me in Conquest, but RD got lost to the internet 😦 So initially it was just the two of us – I sent out some squad invites and Gary joined in. So here’s the thing – you’ve got Rush with the C4 arseholes, or you can play Conquest or SDM both of which are infested by another type of creepy crawly – the M60/AN-94 Magnum Ammo Whores (MAMAW). They are like midges – annoying and get everywhere. But at least you can swat them easily. I was running around with the F2000 because that’s the kind of crazy fool I am.

Conquest generally goes one of three ways – you spawn trap them, they spawn trap you, or you fight tooth and nail for every sodding bit of ground that you possess. The latter is how the games went and that was amazing! It’s great to get a proper game going where people are actually doing what they’re supposed to and in the spirit of the game – HOORAY!

For the time being, I’m avoiding Rush – I just can’t be arsed with it.

Peas and loaves

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Eldabronzo (C4 Scrubs)

I got the bronze weapon pin thingy after having to get an additional four kills with the Saiga (thanks DICE!).. sooo – hooray!

Spent a couple of games in Conquest – not really games. If I had been on the other side I’d have quit out straight away. It really is crap that once you possess all three flags you can then just spawn kill the other team and there is literally nothing they can do about it.

Decided to have a game of Rush, but you know what, the C4 scrubs are really starting to piss me off.
AKUTOU was the C4 scrub in the last game we played. Well done pal, you really showed off your 1337 5k1LLZZzzz0rzzzz with the C4 on the MComs. Very skillful scrubby.

Had some good games up until that point.

Peas and loaves

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